Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
