But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
is it fun? or sober?
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