found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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