Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
