oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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