He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize