I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
