When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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