He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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