The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
