You work out of a Hotel?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
