So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
