She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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