You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
