found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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