So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
