Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
