smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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