No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
