Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
