ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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