cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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