did you get engaged???
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
