there's paper in my vomit.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
