I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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