...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
