no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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