I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize