Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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