So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
