i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
