I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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