forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
