I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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