it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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