Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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