I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize