"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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