Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize