I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
