He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
