none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
