peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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