I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
