covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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