What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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