"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize