uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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