Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
