I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
