it wasn't lemon gatorade
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
