State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
