She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
