I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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